It's January 3, 2015 and it is definitely time for a new year! I have had quite a few rocky roads in my life but 2012- 2014 seemed to have had quite a few BOULDERS to overcome and I haven't overcome them
all yet. I am now staying with my friend Roma in her apartment until the final court date arrives and I can start making plans for my future.
Right now I feel as if I am lost... Uprooted after
thirty years in my house, I have been grieving as if I had lost a family member. My little house was a part of my family. I miss all of the little "characteristics" that made it home. The "collage" pasted to the inside of Laura's closet door made me
so angry the first time I saw it! But I cried as I closed that closet door on those memories one last time.
I could actually feel my heart breaking as I walked through Sarah's room, remembering all
of the good times that were painted with fingernail polish on the walls..."Sarah + Melissa = B.F.F", "I love ____!" "S.E. + H.J.= 4EVER". The tears poured down my face as I spotted the pencil writing on the wall..."I hate you Mom!" Of course, those words were
written in a fit of anger because I had to be a mother and do what I knew was the right thing to do at the time. I was upset the first time I saw it and Sarah apologized because she had realized that Mom was right and I only loved her and wanted the best for
Seeing those words, as I left my little house for the very last time, hurt like nothing had hurt me before but I had to be strong! I am being a mother and I had to do what I knew was the
right thing to do. This time I had to do it not only for my daughter but for my granddaughters as well. I thank God for the strength that He has given me to go on, knowing that those words "I hate you Mom!" are only words and I know she knows me well
enough to know that I am always compelled to do what I feel is the right thing to do. I know that one day I will again hear those words "I love you, Mom! I'm sorry! I was just mad!".